Oh God, I really feel bad today! Last night I went out with my ex-girlfriend, she's been my girlfriend for more than 8 years, and now the knowledge to be no more special for her has left me an emptiness I cannot fill with anything else.
So, last night we went out, we talked, she told me now I'm nothing more than a friend for her. In the end, when I took her back home, she touched my hand and kissed me, and I wanted that moment to never end, I was feeling in paradise, and when she got out of the car I fell in hell.
I don't know how many tears dropped down, I just know I ran home because I was feeling lost. Still now, while I'm writing these word, tears are signing my face. I can't find a reason for the situation I'm living. Why were we both crying while hugging? Why do we have to live such a way? Why do I still love her even if she's broken my heart?
Ok, ok. I have to live with this shit, so I'll try to. Now it's march 20th, 11 days left and I'll leave to Ireland, I really need to change lifestyle for a while. I hope to meet new friends, to do a good work there, and furthermore I hope to forget her, because now this is the best thing I can do for myself...

Damn, human being is strange... there's nothing like love: it can take you on top of the world but it's dangerous, because the higher you get, the lower you can fall. And if you fall down from a very high peak... it hurts a lot! But this means I am alive, if I couldn't feel these emotions I wouldn't be alive either.
Now I have to concentrate only on myself, it will be hard, but I have to do it!